[Verse 1]
Oh, well, a-Christmas time is a time to be good
But, baby, I'm a bad, bad kid
A stocking full of kerosene, matches, and wood
’Cause, baby, I'm a bad, bad kid
Government surveillance since I started to walk
Ain't no telling what I did
I like to think I’m just misunderstood
But you know I'm just a bad, bad kid

[Verse 2]
Daddy told mama last Christmas Eve
"You know, we got a bad, bad kid
He's got a black leather jacket and a real mean streak
I guess he's just a bad, bad kid
He knocked off a Macy's and my uncle's antiques
Hocked him for forty-nine quid
He's on a one-way ticket down a dead-end street
'Cause, mama, he’s a bad, bad kid"

[Chorus]
I can’t help it, I was born like this
A permanent spot on the naughty list
I never get a present, Santa's scratchin’ his head
How'd a little fella get so mislead?
[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus]
I can't help it, I was born like this
A permanent spot on the naughty list
I never get a present, Santa's scratchin’ his head
How'd a little fella get so mislead?

[Verse 3]
In the downtown store on a silent night
Holding onto mama's hand
In the toy department, people waitin' in line
Lookin' to meet the fat man
Old Kringle felt a tingle runnin' up his spine
He saw me, then he run and hid
Santa heard his own name ended up on a list
It was a-written by a bad, bad kid

[Outro]
You don't mess with a bad, bad kid
You don't mess with a bad, bad kid