[Chorus 1]
Hey, Mister Santa
How's it lookin'?
That thirty-two waistline
You better get cookin'
We need a big Santa
It's almost Christmas time

[Verse 1]
First stop, we gotta get to Chicago
The secret to the pizza there is in the dough
Italian beef with giardiniera hot and sweet
Pop a Polish sausage on Maxwell Street
Windy City poppin' corn with caramel and cheese
Adds a couple notches to his belt with ease

[Verse 2]
We gotta get some gumbo in N-O-L-A
Santa needs a pot of crawfish étouffée
Andouille and jambalaya, Santa don't stop
A fried oyster po'boy and a nice Lagniappe
Fill him up with beignets and a box of pralines
We'll get his red britches bustin' at the seams

[Chorus 2]
Hey, Mister Santa
How's it lookin'?
That forty-two waistline
You better get cookin'
We need a big Santa
It's almost Christmas time
[Bridge]
I never though I'd see a skinny Old Saint Nick
It's mid-December Santa, better bulk up quick
Hit up every donut shop, a hundred dozen
That's just enough to keep the big man runnin'

[Chorus 3]
Hey, Mister Santa
How's it lookin'?
That fifty-two waistline
You better get cookin'
We need a big Santa
It's almost Christmas time

[Verse 4]
Beat it down low over Memphis-town
Find his favorite barbeque and pass it around
Biscuits, grits and gravy and some chow-chow too
Fried green tomatoes for the reindeer crew
Chicken wings, mac-and-cheese, some buttermilk pie
Puts the old sparkle back in Santa's eye

[Chorus 4]
Hey, Big Santa
How's it lookin'?
That ninety-nine waistline
You better get cookin'
We got a big Santa
It's almost Christmas time
It's almost Christmas time
It's almost Christmas time