[Monologue]
I didn't really know what to say, um, so I thought I'd build a road, um
When I was like 12, I started making beats on my family computer
Um, by the time I was 15 I'd stolen it to my attic bedroom and I was, I was hooked
Um, I started putting the things I made online, that's The Eden Project, and just didn't stop
I never sent them anywhere, or even told my friends, but I just put them out there
Um, like, endless music for like three years and it just grew and grew
Um, I think I was luckily just in a cusp of a wave, really
Suddenly music could be produced by anyone with a computer and I just happened to be early
But suddenly, something crystallized, in winter of like 2014, and I knew I had something to say, and I knew what shape it was, finally
Um, so when End Credits was released in 2015 for free, a couple of interesting things started to happen
It was downloaded from my site about 15,000 times in a couple days
And I knew I had a fanbase, um, but, I'd never seen it in like a central number like that
It was spread across whatever uploads or songs, and, my first monthly payment, um, from having music on Spotify early that year was like 42 dollars and 62 cent
Which quickly grew into enough to support me, and a career of music, or at least an attempt of one
Um, and then suddenly after End Credits there's just more emails than I could handle, I had multiple meetings with various record labels, publishers, managers, lawyers, um, daily for about six weeks
Um, I was definitely in over my head but at least secure because I had money coming in, you know?
I could, I could say no
So I told everyone no, um, aside from my current manager and eventually the Astralwerks team, later, about a year later in 2016
I started, I started touring and everything just got bigger and bigger, I played to like 200 people for free in London, and then 450 paid tickets the same year
And I think, next time I played in London it was for 2,400 people
All three shows sold out really quickly, it was, I couldn't keep up with myself at all, basically
Um, I don't think I allowed myself to stop and enjoy anything, I was just hyper focused on going, you know, just forward
Going on tour, whatever, I was just moving, um
And in a weird way it was for the best and uhh, and for the worst, because, because of the work I put in I have a career, you know, doing what I love, which is one of the greatest things I could ever ask for
But, um, I definitely lost myself to it all, and I lost, I lost an [?] that I saw when I was 17
So, fast forward to 2019, I just, I spent as much time at home as I possibly could, um, I flew as little as I could, um
And it's still an ongoing process, I kinda just stripped all the things I built up away from underneath me to, to find the road, um, or at least try to
Um, I had some of the best times of my life this year, and some of the worst
Um, I said goodbye to a friend too soon
Um, I made some really difficult choices and, I, well I let myself cry about it which is, important, you know?
Um, now at the end of it all, um, I feel like I'm starting to see myself again, um
The present is a platform, build as you see fit, um
No plans, only godspeed
No future, only ideas
And we've made it this far
[Outro]
Ten tonne, ballast on my chest
As I woke up, a heavy inhale
For the nights-