[Verse 1: Colin and Greg, Colin]
(Ah, the twelve days of Aussie Christmas)
On the first day of Christmas, a swagman at the gate
Said, "Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!"

[Verse 2: Colin and Greg]
On the second day of Christmas, an emu by the fence
Said, "Good on ya cob"
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

[Verse 3: Colin and Greg]
On the third day of Christmas, a shearer down the shed
Said, "How 'bout the flies?"
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

[Verse 4: Colin and Greg]
On the fourth day of Christmas, a goanna on a rock
Said, "It's stinkin' hot"
How 'bout the flies?
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!

[Verse 5: Colin and Greg, Colin]
On the fifth day of Christmas, Frank put up the sign;
Total fire ban!
It's stinkin' hot
How 'bout thе flies?
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussiе Christmas, mate!
(Now just take a breather here, [?])
[Verse 6: Colin and Greg, Colin]
On the sixth day of Christmas, a dingo by the dam
Said "I'm flat out 'till Chrissy"
Total fire ban!
It's stinkin' hot
How 'bout the flies?
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!
(Alright, start the mower)

[Verse 7: Colin and Greg, Colin]
On the seventh day of Christmas, Sue put up the lights
Drop in for a chinwag (*Garbled telephone chatter*)
Flat out 'till Chrissy
Total fire ban!
It's stinkin' hot
How 'bout the flies?
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!
(Champs, your moment of glory)

[Verse 8: Colin and Greg, Colin, Greg]
On the eighth day of Christmas, they called the CFA (Country Fire Association)
Santa's on a firetruck (Ooh, there he goes!) [Sirens, Santa shouting]
Drop in for a chinwag [Telephone chatter] (Hello, what? Hello? You're breaking up)
Flat out 'till Chrissy (I'm flat out mate)
Total fire ban!
It's stinkin' hot
How 'bout the flies?
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!
[Verse 9: Colin and Greg, Colin, Greg]
On the ninth day of Christmas, you should have heard the cheer
School's out for summer [Children cheering] (Is it?) (Yes!)
Santa's on a firetruck [Sirens and Santa laughing] (No he's not.) (He is)
Drop in for a chinwag [Telephone chatter]([?])
Flat out 'till Chrissy [Chuckles] (Nearly got it!)
Total fire ban!
It's stinkin' hot
How 'bout the flies?
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!
(Pull the spark plug out, and see if you can get a spark out of it)

[Verse 10: Colin and Greg, Colin, Greg]
On the tenth day of Christmas, you couldn't move in town
A madhouse up Main street (Mm, you couldn't, mhm)
School's out for summer [Children cheering]
Oh, Santa's, on a firetruck! [Santa laughing]
Drop in for a chinwag (Alright, okay, when would you like?)
Flat out 'till Chrissy
Total fire ban!
It's stinkin' hot
How 'bout the flies?
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!
(Ah, it's a workout)
[Verse 11: Colin and Greg, Colin, Greg]
On the eleventh day of Christmas, they drew the raffle prize
You little beauty!
Madhouse up Main street
School's out for summer [Children cheering]
Well Santa's on a firetruck
Well, drop in for a chinwag
Well, nah, I'm flat out 'till Chrissy ([Chuckles] Oh no!)
Total fire ban!
It's stinkin' hot
How 'bout the flies?
Good on ya, cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!
(Last day of Christmas coming up, so this is the big one)

[Verse 12: Colin and Greg, Colin, Greg]
On the 12th day of Christmas, we'll take an early mark
Knock off 'till New Year! [Crowd shouting "Happy New Year"]
You little beauty
Madhouse up main street
School's out for summer
Santa's on a firetruck
Drop... in for a chinwag!
Flat out 'till Chrissy! (Anyway we're up to this bit!)
Total fire ban!
It's stinking hot
How 'bout the flies?
Good on ya cob
Have a ripper Aussie Christmas, mate!