Never set the cat on fire; you only will annoy it
The flames will make the beast perspire; it surely won’t enjoy it
Likewise do not ignite the dog
The snake, the gerbil, or the frog
No, never set the cat on fire

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire

Don’t open up the cabin hatch; the air is sure to leave it
And air is very hard to catch; you never will retrieve it
Even though you think your life’s a bore
Don’t open the reactor door
Don’t open up the cabin hatch

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire

Don’t change the navigator’s data; someone’s sure to see ya
You know the captain’s view of that: “a very bad idea”
He doesn’t want his ship to race
Forever lost in endless space
Don’t change the navigator’s data

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire
Don’t start an interstellar war; it has no helpful uses
When someone asks you “What’s it for?”, you’ll only make excuses
If thirty trillion folks get hurt
You’ll go to bed with no dessert!
Don’t start an interstellar war

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire

Never set the cat on fire; you only will annoy it
The flames will make the beast perspire; it surely won’t enjoy it
Likewise do not ignite the dog
The snake, the gerbil, or the frog
No, never set the cat on fire

And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on fire
And mind your manners, as circumstances may require
And never set the cat on, never set the cat on, never set the cat on fire!