CHORUS:
If it’s smaller than your elbow, don’t put it in your nose
If you found it in the sink, don’t put it in your nose
If it’s glass or brass or chewing gum or gushes from a hose
Remember what I told you: don’t put it in your nose!

I used to play with crayons as I sat upon the lawn
Then I put them up my nose ’til all of them were gone
Proud of my experiment, I was so very pleased
That a perfect little rainbow dribbled out with every sneeze

(CHORUS)

Never used a bank, I kept quarters up my nose
I jingled when I nodded, had change for drying clothes
I had so many plans to take my loot and make a profit
But no one would accept my very gooey first deposit

(CHORUS)

I woke up with a weasel in my nose the other night
I’m pretty sure he wasn’t there when Mom turned out the light
He’s really very comfy – I wouldn’t give him up for cash
I’ve always kinda wanted a luxuriant moustache

If it’s smaller than your elbow, don’t put it in your nose
If you found it in the sink, don’t put it in your nose
If it’s glass or brass or chewing gum or gushes from a hose
Remember what I told you: don’t put it in your nose!
Smaller than your elbow? Found it in the sink?
If it’s glass or brass or chewing gum or gushes from a hose
Remember what I told you: don’t put it in your nose!