Well first you gotta speak right says the guy at the door
As he give me the directions to the 2nd floor
Where a girl looking sassy with a smile on her face
Says you must be mistaken, this ain't the right place
But it's alright, got a ticket
But it's looking like it's gonna be a very sticky wicket
'Cause the bow-tie in the corner with his nose in the air
Says there's a right way and a wrong way
And a short way and a long way uptown
And a right way to go about it
And what's the world coming to
When a night out at the opera's like a day out at the zoo

And if you don't mind I was just about leaving
I can't stand being in the air that you're breathing
I don't mind telling you you're so full of fiction
And opera singers have terrible diction

Now in this conversation there's the music man
Who bought himself a reputation with a government grant
And when he comes on special I try to keep my head
But I just gotta, I just gotta, I just gotta see red
Say what's the matter fella, don't let it spoil your night
You only got invited 'cause you got the accent right
You think you're sitting pretty, your fingers on the brass
And you stand there looking silly with your finger in your glass
We don't want your kind round here
We don't think you fit round here
So why don't you stay outside
Pay your tax and subside

And if you don't mind I was just about leaving
I can't stand being in the air that you're breathing
I don't mind telling you you're so full of fiction
And opera singers have terrible diction

We don't want your kind round here
We don't think you fit round here
So why don't you stay outside
Pay your tax and subside