Did you read the Sunday paper about the strong stomached 25
Who from an expedition all came back alive
From that hostile country where only the stones survive
On Heikki's suburbia bus tour one

Picture-taking tourist the war was half a deal
The natives can't believe it, it all seems so unreal
Just to ask the question, now how does it feel
On Heikki's suburbia bus tour ride

2,752 un-scheduled stops
Watch them kill the crabgrass
But look out for the cops

Hospitals for flowers, the matron ladies cry
Itchy trigger fingers as our caravan walks by
Overcrowded laughter, cause they're all four gallons high
On Heikki's suburbia bus tour ride

Read the Sunday paper, though you may disagree
About the maiden voyage of poets A to Zee
None confuse to answer that happiness is free
On Heikki's suburbia bus tour ride