If I were a Deep One
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
All day long I'd swim beneath the sea
If I were a Deep One
Terrify the tourists
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
If I were an icky icky fish
Scaly, slipp'ry frog-eyed kind of man

I'd make my lair a deep dark cave with some fungus
Right in the heart of Devil's Reef
A foul abode of pestilent coral walls
The ramulose and arabesque floration
Spiralling so far beyond belief
With ichor seeping from my chamber halls

I'd fill the reef with wrecks and corpses and ships
And men for my friends to see and hear
Begging mercy as water fills their lungs
And each loud "ahhh" and "eek" and "help" and "God no"
Would scare off the townfolk far and near
As if to say "There live the Deep Ones."

If I were a Deep One
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
All day long I'd swim beneath the sea
If I were a Deep One
Drag away some tourists
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
If I were an icky icky fish
Scaly, slipp'ry frog-eyed kind of man
I see my kin, the Marshes, hopping like some fish-frog things
With their bulging milky eyes
Worshipping Dagon with the unholy rites
I see them putting on crowns and shuffling like a shoggoth
Ahhh, what a hellish sight they are
Croaking at the sea both day and night

The most psychotic men in town would come a lookin' fer me!
They would ask me to adjure them
Like the Mad Arab himself
"If'n you please, Old Man Marsh..."
"Oh tell me Old Man Marsh..."
Asking questions that would drive the mad insane!
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub

And it won't make one bit of diff'rence
If'n I answer right or wrong
When you're deep, they think you really know!

If I were fish, I'd have the gills that I lack
To swim down below to deep R'lyeh
And maybe have a seat on Cthulhu's tomb
And I'd discuss the R'lyeh Text with some Deep One friends
Countless hours every day
Fixin' fer the humans' final doom
If I were a Deep One
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
All day long I'd swim beneath the sea
If I were a Deep One
Get to eat the tourists
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
Blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub, blub
Cthulhu you make the people run
You saw fit that flippers have I none
Don't you reckon that I'd get more done
If I were a Deep One?