Well it cost me thirty bucks to fix my budgie
When the little blighter only cost me five
The veterinary surgeon saw me coming
But I had to keep my feathered friend alive;

He was shaking on his perch, the kids were crying
The family gathered round his little cage
I said I think it's time we got a new one
That's when the family went into a rage

Oh, the waiting room ponged like a rat house
With heart worms and lung worms and lice
And a Persian had her eye on the shoebox
I suppose she thought our budgie might be nice

Well the bird shit on the veterinary surgeon
I heard him say the dirty little chick
Guess he wondered why I didn't use my brains
And hit him over the head with a brick

[Chorus]
Oh antibiotics for his color
Two drops a day on his beak
Some powder on the nose for his feathers
And clean out his cage twice a week
Well it cost me thirty bucks to fix my budgie
When the little blighter only cost me five
And the bludger wakes me early in the morning
It's got me puzzled how he survives

One night I'll feed him to the tom cat
Instead of worrying about him when we go away
No-one wants to feed a shitty budgie
When everyone's on holiday

[Chorus]