[Verse 1]
I'm not the one you dream about and
I'm not the one you can't live without
I'm not the one you want to see
I'm not the one who you want to be seen with

[Chorus]
But when you're tired of all the jerks
And you're tired of all the work
And you're tired of being hurt
You will long for the comfort of my golfshirt

[Verse 2]
I'm not the one who was an old time punk rocker
I was listening to Rush and trying to feather my hair back
When all that stuff went down
I'm not the one who was in a high school hardcore band
I sat in my room, scoring with Ms. Pac-Man

[Chorus]
But when you're tired of all the jerks
And you're tired of all the work
And you're tired of being hurt
You will long for the comfort of my golfshirt
Yeah!
[Outro]
No tats, no piercings
No hats, no grung beard baby, yeah
No tats, no piercings
No hats, no grung beard baby, yeah
Yeah, oh yeah