[Verse 1]
Hello, welcome to the show
Thought we broke up years ago
What's up, I just shit my pants
Gambled and I lost
Good times, just blew out my knee
I've fallen and I can't get up
Oh shit, I think I broke my back
Where's the wheelchair?

[Chorus]
I'm old school
I'm played out
Osteoporosis, glaucoma and neurosis
The vultures circling above our balding heads

[Verse 2]
Second verse, the same as the first
I forgot the words again
Railer, lost my inhaler
Who's got a smoke for the Caper?
Hold on let me catch my breath
All right, I feel better now
Take it to the bridge

[Bridge]
I'll never be Ozzy
On stage when I'm fifty
I'm gonna look like Elvis
By the time I'm forty
We're already bogus
We're already fading
We'll never be The Rolling Stones
I'm staying home
[Chorus]
Dementia and senility
My failing muscles atrophy
I've lost all ability
Falling apart

[Outro]
Blue hair, brown teeth
Failing livers, defeat
Maybe we will try to pull it off
For another year