Once I got a splinter in the joint of my little toe
And a garter snake bit my knee by the bend of the little St. Joe
Honey that's Missouri, the land of the dust and the toad
It's a wonderful town, Chicken Road

Once I had a scorpion on the lobe of my good right ear
And I lived with my great-great grandma
Who could hear what she wanted to hear
Honey that's Missouri, the land where the sky overflows
It's a wonderful town, Chicken Road

Beasts of burden, nip at their hay
And a poolroom banjo playin' to the close of every day
Night so quiet, you could hear a mouse
Tippin' through the parlor of a boarding house

Once I got a sunburn on the back of my itchin' neck
Went for a ride in a Model-T and I died in a beautiful wreck
Honey that's Missouri, the land that the Lord never knowed
Yes, it's a wonderful town, Chicken Road