My mother’s biscuits melt in your mouth
And my daddy he is the best shot in town
My brother throws a baseball a hundred miles an hour
My sister she’s a go-go queen, she’s pretty as a flower

Yeah but I can stick my foot in my mouth
I mean whole five toes don’t even leave, the heel’s sticking out
Sometimes nobody’s watching, sometimes it draws a crowd
Cause I can stick my foot in my mouth

Just take last week down at the bar
It sure looks like she was showing from afar
So I told her she had that glow and ask when it was due
But she said ‘Fool I ain’t pregnant, what the hell is wrong with you?’

Oh I can stick my foot in my mouth
I mean whole five toes don’t even leave, the heel’s sticking out
Sometimes nobody’s watching, sometimes it draws a crowd
Cause I can stick my foot in my mouth

(Yeah baby!)

Well I thought she had a nice derriere
So I sneaked up right behind her and I whispered in her ear
I said ‘Ma’am the dancefloor's empty, would you like to take a spin?’
But she turned around and I saw that beard
Then ‘Her’ became a ‘Him’ (Him?)
Well I can stick my foot in my mouth
I mean whole five toes don’t even leave, the heel’s sticking out
Sometimes nobody’s watching, sometimes it draws a crowd
Cause I can stick my foot in my mouth

Well all my friends tell me I should take it on the road
Maybe join up with a circus, or the Coney Island Show

Cause I can stick my foot in my mouth
I mean whole five toes don’t even leave, the heel’s sticking out
Sometimes nobody’s watching, sometimes it draws a crowd
Cause I can stick my foot
Yeah I can stick my foot
I can stick my foot (My whole damn foot)
In my mouth