Here's a song for one and all (down-a-down and down-a-down)
Here's a song for one and all (with a down)
Here's a song for one and all
About a man just two feet tall (with a-down, derry derry derry down down)

He met a dame on Blytheswood square …
She was forty, fat and fair

She says to him with a tender smile …
"Would you be free for a wee short while?"

His evil mind began to roam …
When she said "Deary, come on home"

She showed him to her room and said …
"Put all your clothes upon that bed"

She said "I'll be right back in a tick" …
The wee man through his clothes off quick

She brought her seven children in …
Said, "See that ruckle of bone and skin?"

Says she, destroying all his courage …
"That's what you get when you don't eat porridge"