Oh, newspapermen meet such interesting people!
He knows the low-down (now it can be told)
I'll tell you quite reliably off the record
About some charming people I have known
For I meet politicians, and grafters by the score
Killers plain and fancy, it's really quite a bore
Oh, newspapermen meet such interesting people!
He wallows in corruption, crime, and gore

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, city desk;
Hold the press, Hold the press;
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
It's a mess, meets the test
Oh, newspapermen meet such interesting people!
It's wonderful to represent the press

Now, you remember Mrs. Sadie Smuggery
She needed money for a new fur coat
To get insurance, she employed skullduggery
She up and cut her husband's only throat
She chopped him into fragments, she stuffed him in a trunk
She shipped it all back yonder to her uncle in Podunk
Now, newspapermen meet such interesting people!
It must have startled poor old Sadie's unc

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, city desk;
Hold the press, Hold the press;
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!
It's a mess, meets the test
Oh, a newspaperman meets such interesting people!
It's wonderful to represent the press
Now, newspapermen meet such interesting people!
I've met the gal with million-dollar knees
Oh, so the guy who sat five years upon a steeple;
Just where the point was I could never see
Yes, I've met Capone and Hoover, and lots of other fakes
I've even met a genius who swallows rattlesnakes
Oh, a newspaperman meets such interesting people!
The richest girl who could not bake a cake

Ting-a-ling
Ting-a-ling
Ting-a-ling

Now, newspapermen are such interesting people!
They used to work like hell just for romance
But finally, the movies notwithstanding
They all got tired of patches on their pants
They organized a union to get a living wage
They joined with other actors upon a living stage
Now newspapermen are such interesting people
When they know they've got a people's fight to wage

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, Newspaper Guild
Got a free new world to build;
Meet the people, that's a thrill
All together fits the bill
Now, newspapermen are such interesting people!
It's wonderful to represent the Guild
Oh, publishers are such interesting people!
Their policy's an acrobatic thing
They claim they represent the common people
It's funny Wall Street never has complained
But the publishers have worries, for publishers must go
To working folks for readers, and big shots for their dough
Now, are publishers are such interesting people!
It could be press-titution, I don't know

Ting-a-ling-a-ling, circulation
Ting-a-ling-a-ling, advertising
Get those readers, get that payoff
What a headache, what a mess
Oh, publishers are such interesting people!
Let's give three cheers for freedom of the press