Oh it happened in Vienna, not so very long ago
When not enough folks were getting sick
That a starving young physician tried to better his position
By discovering what made his patients tick

Oh Doctor Freud, Oh Doctor Freud
How we wish you had been differently employed
For this set of circumstances surely enhances the finances
Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud

He forgot about sclerosis but invented the psychosis
Plus a hundred ways that sex could be enjoyed
He adopted as his credo, down repression, up libido
That was the start of Doctor Sigmund Freud

Oh Doctor Freud, Oh Doctor Freud
How we wish you had been differently employed
For this set of circumstances surely enhances the finances
Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud

He analyzed the dreams of the teens and libertines
He substituted monologues for pills
He drew crowds just like Will Sandler, when along came Jung and Adler
They said 'By God, there’s gold in them there hills'

They encountered no resistance as they served as Freud's assistants
And with ego and with id they deftly toyed
Instead of toting bedpans, they wore analytic deadpans
Those ambitious doctors Adler, Jung, and Freud
Now the big three have departed, but not so this thing they started
It’s been carried on by many a goodly band
And to trauma, shock, and war shock, someone went and added Rorschach
The thing has got completely out of hand

Oh Doctor Freud, Oh Doctor Freud
How we wish you had been differently employed
For this set of circumstances surely enhances the finances
Of the followers of Doctor Sigmund Freud