He thinks he's Oscar Wilde
But he's Paul Linde
Can't say anything good about anything
He flips his cigarette with disdain
You've failed to live up to his standards again

He's a negative queen, he's a negative queen
He reads all the latest magazines
He's quick to follow, but thinks he's in the lead
He was there and you weren't

You're out of it, you're not current
He's a negative queen, he's a negative queen
He drips disdain, he's lacking tact
He's popular in a scene
Where being nice is a radical act

Everything's got to be just so
If it's not, he'll let you know
Don't put up posters on Castro Street
He'll rip them down so he can shop in peace

He's a negative queen, he's a negative queen
He struts into a bar with swagger
Stumbles out later with a stagger
Spent half his life in a bar
Now he looks so haggard
No sympathy for a braggart
Everything's got to be just so
If it's not, he'll let you know
Darling, you simply haven't lived
Unless you've lived like him
He's a negafive queen, he's a negative queen