When I met him he was nice enough
For a short man trying to act real tough in a bar
That kind of attitude won't get you very far
His shirt was open, and I saw his chest
A salt-and-pepper, soft and furry mess
You know how that turns me on

Then he took my hand
And ran it over the outline in his pants
He had the dick of death, he had the dick of death
And so I closed my eyes and tried to fantasize about this dick of death

We grabbed a cab and went away to my place where we
Dropped our clothes so fast you'd think we were racing
I couldn't wait to see it for myself
And there it was, staring up at me
Long and perfect, boy, was I ever lucky
He kissed me, and we fell down on the bed

Then he took my hand
And let me guide him into my promised land
He had the dick of death, he had the dick of death
I looked into his eyes and let him sodomize me with his dick of death

I'd never seen one quite this big before
When he's soft, he's nearly hung down to the floor
He had the dick of death, he had the dick of death
I don't know if I love him, but I love his dick of death
I don't know if I love him, but I love his
I don't know if I love him, but I love his
I don't know if I love him, but I love his dick of death