[Spoken]

[Gary Lewis]
Well, here I am in Hollywood
The entertainment capital of the world, so I'm told
But where are all the stars?
I've always heard that you see the stars just walkin' down the street
Well, I guess I'll have to ask someone
Maybe they can direct me where I can find some of the big names
I'll ask this big fella over here
Uh, excuse me, sir, do you know where I can meet some stars?

[John Wayne]
Well, I don't know, kid
I'd like to hеlp ya
But I'm gettin' my horse washed and grеased
And I'm in a little bit of a hurry

[Gary Lewis]
Uh, thanks, huh-huh
Boy, he sure looks familiar
Oh well, I'll ask somebody else
Pardon me, old-timer
Where can I go to meet some movie and television stars?

[Edgar Buchanan]
You got me there, son
I don't get into town a tad much
I spend most of my time there at the junction
Why don't you try Hollywood and Vine?
[Gary Lewis]
Hey, now aren't you... nah, I guess not
Well, there's gotta be somebody around here who knows where the big stars hang out
Oh sir, I'm new in Hollywood and
I'd like to know just where I can find one big name star
Where do they all stay?

[Jack Benny]
Well, they're all over the place

[Gary Lewis]
Boy, you sure do have beautiful blue eyes

[Jack Benny]
Well, thank you
I have a map here
And I'll sell it to ya for 25 cents

[Gary Lewis]
Uh, I don't have 25 cents

[Jack Benny]
Well, okay, twenty

[Gary Lewis]
Oh, okay, but I don't really have that much time
I'll try somebody else
Uh, pardon me, sir
[Walter Brennan]
Yeah, what can I do for you, boy?

[Gary Lewis]
Uh, well, I wanna know where I can go to meet some of the big-name stars

[Walter Brennan]
I'd say your best bet, son, is to sit right here on the corner, right where you are
Hey, there's one over there
And he, he's callin' to ya

[Band Member 1]
Hey, Gary, Gary
C'mon, man, wake up, wake up

[Gary Lewis]
Wha?

[Band Member 2]
Hey, Gary, we're up next
*band members talking over each other*

[Announcer]
And now, here they are, Gary Lewis and the Playboys
*crowd cheers*