[Verse 1]
He had what you might call a simple occupation
He cleaned the platforms of the local railway station
With no romance in his life
Sometimes he wished he had a wife
He read the matrimonial advertising pages
The cries for help from different people, different ages
But they had nothing to say
Nothing to say
At least not until the day
'til that day
When something special he read
This is what it said:

[Chorus]
"If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one
If you dream of the girl for you
If you are dreaming of someone who might be right for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
Why don't you call us and you'll get two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue
We may be the answers to your problem, a chance with we two
So call us and get two for the price of one
Why don't you call us and you'll get two for the price of one"
[Verse 2]
He called the number and a voice said, "Alice Whiting"
The voice was husky and it sounded quite exciting
He was amazed at his luck
The purest streak of gold he'd struck
He said, "I read your ad, it sounded rather thrilling
I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling
Why don't we meet for a chat
Meet for a chat
The three of us in my flat?
In my flat
I can't forget what I read"
This is what it said:

[Chorus]
"If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
We're the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one
If you dream of the girl for you
If you are dreaming of someone who might be right for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
Why don't you call us and you’ll get two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue
We may be the answers to your problem, a chance with we two
So call us and get two for the price of one
Why don't you call us and you’ll get two for the price of one"
[Outro]
She said, "I'm sure we must be perfect for each other
And if you doubt it you'll be certain when you meet my mother"