The stage director stood up when he called the actors down
He asked them all to say three words, up, down and around
So up, down and around they cry with one according voice
And up, down and around they went, for it was their only choice

I can only turn again, to the front again
Only to turn again, to the rear
Turn again, turn again, turn, turn, turn, again
I can listen, but I can't hear

My friends girl, she has a wireless aerial sticking out of her head
And a pile of true romances lying underneath the bed
And a giant poster of Rabby Nookes just beside the door
But I know she'll get along fine without him if he doesn't see her anymore

I can only turn again, to the front again
Only to turn again, to the rear
Turn again, turn again, turn, turn, turn, again
I can listen, but I can't hear

The strings were cut from the guitar puppet singer on the stage
And his music became furious and he stamped his foot in rage
The girls all screamed in agony, the boys they gaped in fear
And the song was called 'Have Mercy Baby, Have Mercy On My Ear'

I can only turn again, to the front again
Only to turn again, to the rear
Turn again, turn again, turn, turn, turn, again
I can listen, but I can't hear
I remember what the old man said on his little wooden stand
As he spoke very quietly with a waving of his hand
Every pigeon to its own hole, but what he seemed to say
I know I should go looking for, a better place to stay

I can only turn again, to the front again
Only to turn again, to the rear
Turn again, turn again, turn, turn, turn, again
I can listen, but I can't hear
Turn again, turn again, turn, turn, turn, again
I can listen, but I can't hear