Celebrity kissing, this has got to stop;
Yeah, they're swarming like flies
They're like bees around the honeypot
Celebrity kissing, will it never end?
Well, you know and I know this is only pretence…

You give it all you've got in radiance on the podium
Manicured fingers grip the figurine
You taught us all you knew in missionary position;
Throw your arms around your latest scene
It could have been celebrity kissing…
This has got to stop:
Yeah, they're swarming like flies
They're like bees around the honey;
You were wonderful, darling, does it never end?
Well, you know and I know this is only pretence

They saw you coming for a thousand miles
Knew something wicked by the pricking of the thumbs;
They can't believe this cheek you're turning is your better side;
I think they preferred it when you acted young and dumb

So you take it to the limit
Take it from the top
Shake it till it's broken
Does the penny never drop?
Celebrity kissing, this has got to stop:
Yeah, they're swarming like flies
They're like bees around the honey
You were wonderful, darling, does it never end?
Oh, you know and I know this is only pretence…

Oh, look out
Oh, yeah, will the penny drop?
Some kind of madness in characterization
Some kind of method in your made-up face;
You got your wake-up call, your open invitation
You get to party in the pagan place

Celebrity kissing, this has got to stop:
Yeah, they're swarming like flies
They're like bees around the honey
You were wonderful, darling, does it never end?
Oh, you know and I know this is only pretence…
[repeat]

This is only pretence
Cut and print, cut that kiss, cut… and print:
This is only pretence