I was ridin' my thumb out across the States
When a truck pulled up and hit them big air brakes
Right outside of Abilene
I met Big Bertha the truck driving queen

She shook my hand put her gloves back on
Jumped on them gears like a dog on a bone
With a wad of chew tobacco bulgin' in her mouth
She grabbed a handful of wheel whipped that big truck South

Oh big Bertha Bertha the truck driving queen
Oh big Bertha Bertha the truck driving queen

At eighty miles an hour I was really gettin' scared
It's hard to believe but she was still grabbin' gears
Speed-o-metter read a hundred and three
She missed the stick and grabbed my knee

Well I closed my eyes afraid to look
Prayin' for the minute I'd climb outta that truck
She led out a howl said lookee here Shoog
I'm gonna knock the ears off that dog on the hood

Oh big Bertha Bertha the truck driving queen
Oh big Bertha Bertha the truck driving queen
She had one arm up against my chin
She showed so hard she cut off my wind
She said little feller I'm lookin' for a man
And I'm gonna hit him anyway that I can

Then the truck gotta spittin' and it came to a stop
I jumped to the ground started yellin' for a cop
I wanted him to save me from the lovin' charms
Of this man-sized woman with man-sized arms

Oh big Bertha Bertha the truck driving queen
Oh big Bertha Bertha the truck driving queen
Oh big Bertha Bertha the truck driving queen