Mary and Joseph drove into town
Searching for a place to stay
The moon was up, and his foot was down
A miracle was on its way

They tried the hotels, the motels, the bed-and-breakfast
Locals, but no one seemed to have any room

Better find a double room soon!

So where would Christmas be without
Mary and Joseph
Morecambe and Wise
Laurel and Hardy
Cracker surprise
Lights on the pine tree
And more aftershave
And not forgetting Jesus, who was born on Christmas Day

They found a place with a neon light
"TV", "Pool", and "Vacancies"
The man on the desk didn't hear them right
When the two of them booked for three

They watched the TV
And deeply, she felt a punching neatly
And the heavens delivered this way
And it happened on Christmas Day
Christmas Da-ay
Christmas Da-ay
So where would Christmas be without
Mary and Joseph
Morecambe and Wise
Laurel and Hardy
Cracker surprise
Lights on the pine tree
And more aftershave
But not forgetting Jesus, who was born on Christmas Day

Mary and Joseph were so surprised
With admirers around the crib
There was something in their son's eyes
That magnetically took one in

Like a Messiah and a fire
Like the tread around a tyre
That grip all roads
To faults you made
And it happened on Christmas Day
Christmas Da-ay
Christmas Da-ay

So where would Christmas be without
Mary and Joseph
Morecambe and Wise
Laurel and Hardy
Cracker surprise
Lights on the pine tree
And more aftershave
But not forgetting Jesus, who was born on (Christmas Day)
Not forgetting Jesus, who was born on (Christmas Day)
Not forgetting Jesus, who was born on (Christmas Day)
Not forgetting Jesus, who was born on (Christmas Day)
And not forgetting Jesus, who was born on (Christmas Day)
Not forgetting Jesus, who was born on (Christmas Day)
And not forgetting Jesus, who was born on (Christmas Day)
Not forgetting Jesus, who was born on (Christmas)