Forgive Durden
Doctor Doctor (Joe’s Pub)
[DOCTOR DUMAYA]
Dear ghost, you look white as a sheet
Note your sallow cheeks
Open wide, say "ah"
Let the doctor take a peek

When my hammer meets her knee
Her leg could not care less
Her eyes roll back like children's dolls
I'm running out of tests

Now I don't want to alarm you
But she certainly is ill
Stricken with a sickness
Deadly enough to kill

Currently, she's suffering from close proximity
To some very bad O of the dark variety
And even worse, no cure, which makes this all together grim
She is gonna die and it's all because of him

Well, I've seen these symptoms before
So let me diagnose
She's been infected with the royal comatose

Now what's she's got ain't no quick fix
It ain't no common cold
I'd prescribe a bonafide, immaculate miracle
Well, the thing about infections is that they don't grow on trees
They don't fall from the sky
They have tangible, traceable geneses

So surely you are wondering who we have to blame
'Cause she spent most her time with the chambermaid
Oh, could it have been (???) watch your every way
I dare suggest, which is why I list a grade to pass the rest

Well, don't worry your little heads
It's none of the above
The reason she's not breathing
Is overexposure to dark blood
From the boy that she loves

Listen very close
This was all a show
The cure is a wicked man
It's all part of his plan

Like a flea, he sucked her dry
The apple of his eye
Now you're her only chance
The sacrificial lamb

You must give her your O
It's the only road
Just do what the doctor says