(Verse 1)
I used to dream that I would discover
The perfect lover
Someday
I knew I'd recognize him if ever
He came 'round my way

I always used to fancy then
He'd be one of the godlike kind of men
With a giant brain and a noble head
Like the heroes bold in the books I've read

(Chorus 1)
But along came Bill
Who's not the type at all
You'd meet him on the street
And never notice him

His form and face
His manly grace
Are not the kind that you
Would find in a statue

And I can't explain
It's surely not his brain
That makes me thrill
I love him because he's wonderful
Because he's just my Bill
(Verse 2)
He can't play golf or tennis or polo
Or sing a solo
Or row
He isn't half as handsome
As dozens of men that I know

He isn't tall or straight or slim
And he dresses far worse than Ted or Jim
And I can't explain why he should be
Just the one, one man in the world for me

(Chorus 2)
He's just my Bill an ordinary man
He hasn't got a thing that I can brag about

And yet to be
Upon his knee
So comfy and roomy
Seems natural to me

Oh, I can't explain
It's surely not his brain
That makes me thrill
I love him because he's, I don't know
Because he's just my Bill