[PENNY]
A fine romance
With no kisses
A fine romance
My friend, this is
We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes
But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes
A fine romance
You won't nestle
A fine romance
You won't wrestle
I've never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants
I never had the chance
This is a fine romance

A fine romance
My good fellow
You take romance
I'll take Jell-O
You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean
At least they flap their fins to express emotion
A fine romance
With no quarrels
With no insults
And all morals
You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France
I never get the chance
This is a fine romance
[LUCKY]
A fine romance
With no kisses
A fine romance
My friend, this is
True love should have the thrills that a healthy climb has
We don't have half the thrills that the march of time has
A fine romance
With no clinches
A fine romance
With no pinches
You never give the orchids I sent a glance
No, you like cactus plants
This is a fine romance