I used to dream that I would discover
The perfect lover some day
I knew I'd recognize him
If ever he came 'round my way
I always used to fancy then
He'd be one of the god-like kind of men
With a giant brain and a noble head
Like the heroes bold in the books I read

But along came Bill, who's not the kind at all
You'd meet him on the street and never notice him
His form and face
His manly grace
Are not the kind that you would find in a statue

And I can't explain
It's surely not his name
That makes me thrill
I love him because he's wonderful
He's just my Bill

Oh, I love him because he's, I don't know
Because he's just my Bill