I can't separate your fiction from fact
You're lost, I know you're trying to wind your way back
You've been talking as fast as you can
I'm not listening anymore

Now baby, you're changing all the rules
You're taking advantage of a fool
Good evening, I'm Ed Burroughs
And the name of this show is, "Person to Person"

Tonight we're visiting the home of a very famous
Motion picture and television director
Dr. Van Steiner, I'm very sorry I'm unable to attend
This tremendous occasion being given in your honor
I would like to extend my sincerest best wishes to you