Jerry Herman
Masculinity
[Georges, spoken]
I want you to pick up that piece of toast like a man!

(sung)
Think of this as masculine toast
And masculine butter
Ready for spreading by a masculine hand
Pick up that knife and make believe it's a machete
It'll take all your strength and steady nerves
For hacking your way through the cherry preserves

Think of John Wayne and Jean-Paul Belmundo
Think of the Legionnaires and Charlemagne's men
So like a stevedore, you'll grab your cup
And if God forbid that your pinky pops up
You can climb back up the mountain once again

[Albin, spoken]
Listen to that...

[Georges]
Oh, about that voice of yours

(sung)
Grunt like an ape and growl like a tiger
Give us a roaring, snoring masculine laugh!
[Albin]
Ah ha ha ha ha!

[Georges]
Try to remember that John Wayne was not soprano
Try making it rough and gruff and low

[Albin]
Ha ha

[Georges]
Try more a John Wayne and less Brigitte Bardot!

[Renaud]
Think of De Gaulle and think of Rasputin

[Mme. Rnaud]
Think like a Daniel marching into the den

[Georges]
While trying to join the burly brutes
If you forget that your nylons are under your boots
You can climb back up the mountain once again

[All]
Think Genghis Khan (Think!)
And Taras Bulba (Think! Think!)
Think of Attila's Huns and Robin Hood's men (Hup! Hup!)
Try not to weaken or collapse
If they discover the pantyhose under your chaps
You can climb back up the mountain once again
Whoah, yeah!