Well, it's awful cold outside
I'm cold at home tonight
Walkin' up an' down by my poor self
God you know this just ain't right

Gonna boil myself a tea bag
Gonna boil myself a tea bag
And if you moze over my way
I will boil you off a tea bag, too

Well I've come from Oklahoma
Where the dust and gravel blow
I've got gals with booseleg rotgut
But man I never did learn to know

Just how to boil me off a tea bag
How to simmer up a tea bag
And if you'll ease over my way
I will boil you off a tea bag, too

I rode the trains and the busses
I rode the roads I rose the blinds
Hit every kind of bag and satchel
I used every bait I could find

Never did think about no tea bag
Never did see no tea bag
But if you'll ooze over closer
Yes, I'll boil you off a tea bag too
Yes I will
I've used beer, and wine, and coffee
Buttermilk, sodie, and rum
And I've rolled them every color
Seen them go before they come

Learnin' how to use a tea bag
How to dip a tea bag
If you'll sneak over my way
I'm gonna strain your little tea bag, too
Yeah baby, that's a promise

Learnin' how to dip my tea bag
How to soak up my tea bag
And I'm up north in New York City
Singin' my lonesome tea bag blues