Now if I were a bricklayer
I wouldn't build just anything
If I were a ballplayer
I wouldn't play no second string
And if I were some jewelry, baby
Lord, I'd have to be a diamond ring
If I were a secret, you know I would never be told
If I were a jug of wine
Lord, my flavor would be plenty old
I could be 'most anything
But it got to be 24-karat solid gold

Chorus:
I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name
I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name
I can be 'most anything
'Cause when you got nothin' it's all the same

If I was a gambler, you know I'd never lose
And if I were a guitar player
I'd have to play the blues

If I was a hatchet, my blade would be razor sharp
If I were a politician, I could prove money could talk
You can find the tallest building
Lord, you know I'd have the house on top
Chorus:
I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name
I'm the Penthouse Pauper; I've got nothing to my name
I can be 'most anything
'Cause when you got nothin' it's all the same