Who is the world's greatest actor?
And how did I get that way?
Who made me a genius, the greatest projector
Who ever wore a toupee?

Who made me most miserable Hamlet
The deadest Romeo who died for his bride?
Who made me most awful Dr. Jekyll?
And then made me Hyde?

Stanislavsky!
Stanislavsky of the Moskia Theater
Stanislavsky, a director from the heart!

I will never forget the day I first meet the great master
He took me by the hand
And beat my head against the wall!
And in one word
In one word he told me the secret
Of the great Stanislavsky Method:
Suffer!
That's all

Suffer! You must live before you give!
Suffer! You must ache before you make!
Suffer! You must think before you stink!
Suffer! Suffer! Suffer, suffer, suffer, suffer, suffer!
Suffer, and the audience suffers with you
Stanislavsky! Stanis...

I will never forget the day
They give me first part to play
I'm supposed to play part of sailor
But first I must suffer!
What I'm going to do?

I join navy, become sailor
First day out, big storm!
At first I was afraid I was going to die!
Then I was afraid I wasn't going to die!
But I suffered!

I came back to Moskva
And in this part I was wow!
Here is what the great critic, Georginya Sasha Vladimir Nathan say:
[Russian sentence]
"Just like in America, three and a half stars"

So if you want career on stage
You mustn't dream of merely acting
Use the Stanislavsky Method
Of Mental Chiropractic

Be a tree, be a sled
Be a fearful spool of thread
Be a storm, a piece of lace
A subway train, an empty space
Take it fast, take it slow
Hello Moe, hello Joe
I just got back from a wonderful show!
Stanislavsky! Stanis...

I will never forget the day
Louella Harper said I stink
I was playing part of stable boy
It was in great Russian tragedy
It was beautiful
Everybody died

I also play part in great Chekhov comedy
Everybody died
But they died happy!
This makes it funny

But I will never forget the day of my greatest triumph
I was playing part of antique mahogany bureau
So convincing in the third act
My drawers fell out
And who is the man who loosened my screws?
Who pulled me all apart?

Stanislavsky!
Stanislavsky of the Moskia!