[Verse 1]
Just 'cause I ain't never had, no, nothing worth having, never ever, never ever
You ain't got no call, not to think of what I'm falling to, thinking that I ain't too clever
And it ain't not having one thing nor not another either, neither is it anything whatever
And it's not not knowing that there ain't nothing showing and I answer to the name of Trevor, however

[Verse 2]
Just 'cause I ain't never said, no, nothing worth saying, never ever, never, never ever
Things have got read into what I never said till me mouth becomes me head which ain't not all that clever
And it's not not saying one thing nor not another either, neither is it anything I haven't said whatever
And it ain't not proving that my mind ain't moving and I answer to the name of Trevor, however

[Chorus]
Knock me down with a feather, clever Trevor
Widebrows wonder whether clever Trevor's clever
Either have they got, nor neither haven't not
Got no right to make a clot out of Trevor

[Break]
Why should I feel bad about something I ain't had
Such stupidness is mad 'cause nothing underfoot
Comes to nothing less to add to a load of old toot
And I ain't half not half glad 'cause there's nowhere to put
It even if I had, I'm a bit of a Jack the Lad

[Instrumental Break]
[Chorus]
Knock me down with a feather, clever Trevor
Widebrows wonder whether clever Trevor's clever
Either have they got, nor neither haven't not
Got no right to make a clot out of Trevor

[Outro]
Also, it takes much longer to get up North the slow way