Rabies got the scabies now he's down on all fours
Hasn't helped his drumming, changing hands for paws
Afraid he's quarantined, means no more foreign tours
Ah ha, there ain't no Sanity Clause
Oh no, There ain't no Sanity Clause [x4]

[Chorus:]
Vanians got a visit from a guy named Drac
Says he's from the bloodbank wants his 10 pints back
Singer's rather sickly when it rains it pours -
Oh no, There ain't no Sanity Clause
Oh no, there ain't no Sanity Clause [x4]

[Chorus:]
Did you expect that I would believe
The tale you told last Xmas eve
About the man that man is fat and round
Delivers gifts without a sound

[Solo]

[Chorus:]
Captain's out of order 'cause he thinks he's Jaws
Biting lady punters on the Norfolk Broads
Paul plays the bass he's just debased that's all
Oh no, there ain't no Sanity Clause
There ain’t no Sanity Clause!
Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho…Ho Ho…Ho!