'Twas on a Monday morning
The gas man came to call
The gas tap wouldn't turn, I wasn't getting gas at all
He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main
And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

'Twas on a Tuesday morning
The carpenter came round
He hammered and he chiselled and he said:
"Look what I've found!
Your joists are full of dry-rot
But I'll put them all to rights."
Then he nailed right through a cable and out went all the lights
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

'Twas on a Wednesday morning
The electrician came
He called me "Mr Sanderson", which isn't quite me name
He couldn't reach the fuse box without standing on the bin
And his foot went through a window so I called a glazier in
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

'Twas on the Thursday morning
The glazier came along
With his blowtorch and his putty and his merry glazier's song
He put another pane in
It took no time at all
But I had to get a painter in to come and paint the wall
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!
'Twas on a Friday morning
The painter made a start
With undercoats and overcoats he painted every part
Every nook and every cranny
But I found when he was gone
He'd painted over the gas tap and I couldn't turn it on!
Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do!

On Saturday and Sunday they do no work at all
So 'twas on a Monday morning that the gas man came to call!