[Verse 1]
Why must every generation think their folks are square?
And no matter where their heads are they know mom's ain't there
'Cause I swore when I was small that I'd remember when
I knew what's wrong with them that I was smaller than

[Verse 2]
Determined to remember all the cardinal rules
Like sun showers are legal grounds for cuttin' school
I know I have forgotten maybe one or two
And I hope that I recall them all before the baby's due
And I know he'll have a question or two

[Chorus]
Like "Hey, pop, can I go ride my zoom?
It goes two hundred miles an hour suspended on balloons
And can I put a droplet of this new stuff on my tongue
And imagine frothing dragons while you sit and wreck your lungs?"
And I must be permissive, understanding of the younger generation

[Verse 3]
And then I'll know that all I've learned my kid assumes
And all my deepest worries must be his cartoons
And still I'll try to tell him all the things I've done
Relating to what he can do when he becomes a man
And still he'll stick his fingers in the fan
[Chorus]
And "Hey, pop, my girlfriend's only three
She's got her own videophone, and she's a-takin' LSD
And now that we're best friends, she wants to give a bit to me
But what's the matter, daddy? How come you're turnin' green?
Can it be that you can't live up to your dreams?"