[MABEL]
Miss waitress from Flatbush, get down from up there
Don't you know that you're out of your class
Miss waitress from Flatbush, I hope you're aware
You're behaving like some little ass

Hey miss
What's this?

See that fascinating creature
With perfection stamped on every feature
She was plain little Nellie, the kid from the deli
But, mother of god, look what happened to Mabel

From now on this pile of flesh'll be
Considered something pretty special
And miss BLT down is the toast of the town
Mary and Joseph, what happened to Mabel?

Every gesture and position that she takes
Is smart and meticulous
Talk about the magic that the camera makes
But this is ridiculous!

Hold your tongue and hold your snickers
For the new enchantress of the flickers
Is that plain little Nellie, the kid from the deli
So rattle me beads
Look what happened to Mabel
Someone who was plain as mutton
On the screen is cuter than a button
And the girl with the pickles
Who hustled for nickels is somethin' to see
Look what happened to Mabel

Yesterday a tip collector
But today just turn on that projector
And Miss Avenue R is a regular star
Mother Machree, look what happened to Mabel

Up to now I really never knew that I
Could be so ambitious
But suddenly I know I have to say goodbye
To bagels and knishes


[COMPANY]
Oh St. Aloysius!

[ALL]
I know that you might think I'm balmy
But the queen of corned beef and salami
Is a glamorous goddess
Who's bustin' her bodice
Oh Jumpin' St Jude
[COMPANY]
Look! Look! Look!

[ALL]
Look what happened to Mabel

[COMPANY]
Someone who was plain as mutton
On the screen is cuter than a button
And the girl with the pickles
Who hustled for nickels is something to see
Look what happened to Mabel

Every gesture and position that she takes
Is smart and meticulous
Talk about the magic that the camera makes
But this is ridiculous

[MABEL]
Hold your tongue and hold your snickers
For the new enchantress of the flickers
Is that plain little Nellie

[COMPANY]
That plain little Nellie
[MABEL]
The kid from the deli

[COMPANY]
The kid from the deli

[MABEL]
So rattle me beads

[COMPANY]
Look! Look! Look!

[MABEL]
Look what happened to

[ALL]
Mabel