Mum, this letter is a quick one
‘Cause I'm working day and night now
If things keep going well
I'll be the female Calvin Klein

Viv's been a smashing friend, Mum
Introducing me to buyers
People find my hats outrageous
Which in New York means they're fine

No, I never hear from Sheldon
But I read what he is up to
He's working on a musical
'Bout Rommel as a boy

Mum, I've never seen a drink here
That isn't full of ice cubes
And I've never met a waiter herе
Who doesn't say "Enjoy!"

I have met a marriеd man, Mum
Now, don't go off the deep end
It's just a bit of nonsense
Oh, I've made that very clear

He's got four lovely children
Well, I’ve only seen their pictures
I never really miss him
But I like it when he's here
I know you won't approve, Mum
I feel I must have someone
I know if Dad could see me-