William Finn
Round Tables, Square Tables
[JASON]
They always yell
Isn't that unfortunate
When Marvin's here
Everybody's yelling about the bar mitzvah
It's not a wrestling match
Why are they swetting?
It's not a funeral
What's so upsetting?

It's a celebration
Where I get presents
But everybody's yelling and everybody's ruining it
It's a celebration
Where I get richer
But everybody's yelling and everybody's ruining it
Everybody's ruining it
Why, oh why
What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah?
What have I done that they'd ruin my bar mitzvah?

[TRINA]
I want the tables round
Musicians with a new sound

[MARVIN]
Okay, I'll trade but please don't make it pink[JASON]
Pink?[MENDEL]
Pink?[TRINA]
It must be!
[MARVIN]
I want lobster!

[TRINA]
Catered kosher!

[MARVIN]
No can do!

[TRINA]
Pink is my--

[MARVIN]
Help me!

[TRINA]
--favorite color!

[TRINA]
Rock musicians!

[MARVIN]
String quartet!

[TRINA]
Are you done?
[MARVIN]
Not yet!

[JASON]
Ugh!
There's no reason to fight
It is just a bar mitzvah
Go ahead and invite
Whomever you please!
Just stop shrecking and wrecking the night
I am getting an earache[JASON]
Please stop shrecking
Please stop shrecking
Please stop shrecking
Please stop shrecking 
[MENDEL]
Please stop shrecking
Please stop shrecking
Please stop shrecking[MARVIN]
Things are better, aren't they?
I feel we've grown closer

[TRINA]
Maybe we've grown closer
But we still have a party to make
We have a party to make
[MARVIN]
And it's gonna be swell
It'll be Marvin's triumph!

[TRINA]
And Trina![MARVIN]
Our kid will excel
And the flowers delight!
All in all it'll be nonpareil
Like the perfect occasion! 
[TRINA]
Thank Trina![TRINA]
Round tables!

[MARVIN]
Square tables!

[JASON]
Please don't do this

[MARVIN]
He's no jerk!

[TRINA]
It's just that--

[MARVIN]
It took--

[MENDEL]
Please don't do this

[MARVIN]
--work!

[JASON]
I hate this!

[MARVIN]
Blame her! It is all a waste!

[TRINA]
Look at your couch, it is homo-baroque!
Don't talk to me about taste!

[JASON]
Stop! I don't want a bar mitzvah, okay?[MARVIN]
What do you mean, you don't want a bar mitzvah?
What do you mean, you don't want a bar mitzvah?
How do you think we, how do you think we
How do you think we feel about that?[TRINA]
What do you mean, you don't want a bar mitzvah?
What do you mean, you don't want a bar mitzvah?
How do you think we, how do you think we
How do you think we feel about that?