[WHIZZER, spoken]
A day in Falsettoland
Dr. Mendel at work
[CAROLINE, spoken]βββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββββ β[MENDEL]
You go out on the street
And there's all these
Peopleβ
askingβ
for a handout
Youβ
go home, you open your mail
Andβ
it's full of
People asking for a donationβββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββββββββββI don't get it
Then, you turn on the TV
And they want money forβββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββ βββββββI don't understand
Starving children in Ethiopia!
I just want to be left alone!βββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββββββ ββββ ββββ β ββββββ βββββ βIn the '60s, everyone had βββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βheart
[MENDEL]
In the '60s, we were all a part of the same team
In the '60s, we had a new world to start
Could thisβ
Oh God, don't say it isβ
Could this be the new world we started?
Here I sit, brokenhearted and...
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Do I wait for the promotion, or do I take this IBM job?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Yeah, well, Caroline hmm
[MENDEL]
I don't get it
I've been left behind
Half my patients: Yuppie pagans
Modeled on the Ronald Reagans
Now the world is too pathetic
And I don't get it at all
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Oh, I'm in a deep quandary about my career
What do you think I should do?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Time's up!
[CAROLINE, spoken]
Aww
[CAROLINE exits.]
[MENDEL]
At least there's Trina at home
Trina in bed
Trina obsessing
And sort of caressing
My head with her feet
I once thought it was sweet
But I don't anymore
Now I just snore
'Cause I'm so exhausted
Listening as those yuppie farts complain
Listening as their shallow hearts explain
Their lives
[CHARLOTTE, spoken]
Trina works it out
[TRINA]
Marvin's back with Whizzer
Just like how it was
If I don't like Whizzer
It's because my ex sure does
Why should that affect me?
Sometimes I'm a lout
Mendel serenades, and Jason calms me
Why should I be wilting
When their precious love is not in doubt?
Work it out!
[JASON, spoken]
The neighbors relax
[CORDELIA]
How was your day at the hospital?
[CHARLOTTE]
Unbelievable
What is that smell?
[CORDELIA]
Nouvelle bar mitzvah cuisine
I've been practicing
Cuisine, bar mitzvah, nouvelle
Well?
[MENDEL, spoken]
Hi, honey
[TRINA]
Hi, honey
[MENDEL]
How was your day?
[TRINA]
It was terrible
Did you hear that Marvin's back with Whizzer?
Marvin's back with Whizzer!
[MENDEL]
Drop it, sweetheart
Give it up
You know I love you
Honey, sweetheart, what's the matter?
I don't get it
Why don't you let go?
[TRINA]
After the first mile, I'll be okay
I cannot let go until we have this bar mitzvah
[MENDEL]
Isn't it enough
I want you every night?
[TRINA, laughing]
Huh
[MENDEL]
Every other night?
[TRINA, laughing]
Huh huh huh huh huh
[MENDEL]
Every third night?
Everything will be alright
[TRINA]
Everything will be alright
[MENDEL & TRINA]
Everything will be alright
[CORDELIA]
How was your day
At the hospital?
[CHARLOTTE]
It was wonderful
For the first time in months
Nobody died
[CHARLOTTE]
There were just
Heart attacks and gallstones
Light bulbs up the ass
Fake appendicitis which is gas
Which I diagnosed
People overdosed and I saved them
I saved young people, old people
One priest and one high school principal
Saving lives, I feel invincible
Yes I do
Do you know how great my life is?
Do you know how great my life is?
Saving lives and loving you
[CORDELIA]
You save lives and I save chicken fat
I can't fucking deal with that!
[CHARLOTTE]βββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββββ[MENDEL & TRINA]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββββββEverything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββEverything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Do you know how great my life is?
[CORDELIA]
Yes, I know how great your life is ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββEverything will be alright
[CHARLOTTE]
Saving lives
[CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]
And loving you
[WHIZZER]
It bounced twice
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Once, then twice
You know it did
[MARVIN]
That's not nice
[WHIZZER]
No, it isn't
But you're a pain in the ass
[MARVIN]
You're a beast
But, at least
When you play me, you win
[WHIZZER]
You give up
[MARVIN]
I perspire
[WHIZZER]
Where's the heat?
Where's the fire?
Used to be you'd desire
A fight!
So fight!
[MARVIN]
So play!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
One-two-three-four!
[MARVIN]
One-two-three-four!
[WHIZZER]
Lucky dink!
[MARVIN]
I'm finessing
[WHIZZER]
Something stinks in how you play
[MARVIN]
Don't you think it's a blessing
I'm so pathetically bad?
[WHIZZER]
Just stay back
Serve with force
I'll attack
And, of course
I will win
Just give in
To bliss
And kiss...
[MARVIN] ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββββ[WHIZZER]
Let's go!
Do you know? ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βDown the alley
All I want
Is you ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββHigh lob
Anything ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββLow drive
You do ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββββββ β ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββOoh!
Is all right ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββCeiling shot!
Yes, it's all right ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββInto the court!
Do you know? ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββFour walls!
All I want...
ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββDink!
...Is you
[WHIZZER]
Hit your shoe
[MARVIN]
No, it didn't
[WHIZZER]
Yes it did
The game is through
[MARVIN]
That's not nice
[WHIZZER]
No, it isn't
[MARVIN]
God, you're a pain in the ass
[WHIZZER]
Play it raw
Don't play pretty
Sex and games
In New York City
Have got to be played with flair
And passion
And passion and flair
[MARVIN & WHIZZER]βββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ[CHARLOTTE & CORDELIA]
Do you knowβββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ βββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ Do you know how great my life is?
βall I want is you?ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββDo you know how great my life is?
Anything you
[MENDEL & TRINA]
Do βis alrightββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββEverything will be alright!
Yes it's alrightββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββEverything will be alright!
[MARVIN & WHIZZER]ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ[MENDEL, TRINA, CHARLOTTE, CORDELIA]
Everything willββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββEverything will
Everything will ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββBe alright!
Everything will ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββEverything will
Everything will ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββBe...
Be ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββ ββββBe
[ALL]
Alright!
Alright!
[JASON, speaking]
Soup's done