My baby, she insults all my friends
This lady, with islands to defend
My baby, she rules our house with force
She plagues me, I wish I could divorce

Playing football with my feelings
Making mince-meat of my friends
Divorce is far too good for you
It's death that us must part, Honey
Oh for these ten long years to end

My baby, I never tried to wed
Someone held a shotgun to my head
And lately I've little cause to smile
Ever since she goose-stepped down the aisle

My baby, she walked out in the end
Basically she'd shafted all her friends
But major peace without her won't be found
Till my sweetheart's rotting underground