The Military
[GENERAL GENGHIS KHAN SCHMITZ] (spoken)
I'm General Genghis Khan Schmitz!
I scare children out of their wits.
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
BUT YOU'LL SEE AT A GLANCE, SIR,
MY SCHOOL IS THE ANSWER
FOR SHIRKERS AND DREAMERS AND TWITS.
AND IN THIS CASE, I'D SAY THE SHOE FITS!
[SCHMITZ] (spoken)
Ten hut! Feet together! Chin up. Eyes on the prize. Forward...h-a-a-rch!
(JOJO begins to march in place.)
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
THE MILITARY ACADEMY
IS THE PLACE WHERE HE SHOULD BE SENT.
WE'LL DRILL THE SILLINESS FROM HIS HEAD—
[SCHMITZ] (spoken)
I'm sure we'll make a dent!
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
WE'LL TEACH HIM FIGHTING
AND LEFT AND RIGHTING
UNTIL HE'S MUSCLED AND TAN!
A-HUT-TWO-THREE!
HE'S PATHETIC!
A-HUT-TWO-THREE!
[SCHMITZ] (spoken)
Unathletic!
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
A-HUT-TWO-THREE!
BUT I'M BETTING WE CAN!
THE MILITARY!
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
A MAN!
(CADETS enter.)
[CADETS]
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ,
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ,
SCHMITZ!
[SCHMITZ] (spoken)
Look at these boys. Why, you'd never know that just a few short months ago, this one hummed in the shower! This one couldn't color within the lines. And this one actually had an Opinion!
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
OUR BOYS BELIEVE
IN THE RIGHT OF EVERY WHO
TO EAT THEIR BREAD
BUTTER SIDE UP!
[CADETS] (spoken)
Butter side up!
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
ONE THING WE TRUST
ON THIS FRAGILE SPECK OF DUST:
IS EATING BREAD
BUTTER SIDE UP!
[JOJO] (spokеn)
Butter side up?
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
AND AS FOR THOSE WHO LIKE THEIR BUTTER DOWN–
[CADETS] (spoken)
Down! Down! Down!
[SCHMITZ, & CADETS]
WE'LL GO TO WAR
AND RUN THEM OUT OF TOWN!
(DANCE BREAK, in which thе CADETS perform military exercises. JOJO tries to imitate them with little success.)
[CADETS, & (SCHMITZ, spoken)]
A-HUT-TWO-THREE (We enlist 'em.)!
A-HUT-TWO-THREE (In our system.)
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
AND BOYS SOON SEE
NOTHING'S EASIER THAN...
THE MILITARY!
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
[CADETS]
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
[SCHMITZ, & CADETS]
A MAN!!!
(SCHMITZ starts a "marching call" and the CADETS begin to march off in line. JOJO tries to keep up.)
[SCHMITZ]
I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM!
[CADETS]
I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM!
[SCHMITZ]
I DO NOT LIKE THEM, SAM-I-AM!
[CADETS]
DO NOT LIKE THEM, SAM-I-AM!
[SCHMITZ]
SOUND OFF!
[CADETS]
EGGS AND HAM!
[SCHMITZ]
SOUND OFF!
[CADETS]
SAM-I-AM!
[SCHMITZ, & CADETS]
I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS...
[SCHMITZ, & CADETS] (spoken)
And ham!
[CADETS] (singing)
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ...
(JOJO's PARENTS are gone as the scene transitions to JOJO's military school. HE is now alone in his bunk bed. Simultaneously we see HORTON alone, guarding his clover. Night falls.)
I'm General Genghis Khan Schmitz!
I scare children out of their wits.
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
BUT YOU'LL SEE AT A GLANCE, SIR,
MY SCHOOL IS THE ANSWER
FOR SHIRKERS AND DREAMERS AND TWITS.
AND IN THIS CASE, I'D SAY THE SHOE FITS!
[SCHMITZ] (spoken)
Ten hut! Feet together! Chin up. Eyes on the prize. Forward...h-a-a-rch!
(JOJO begins to march in place.)
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
THE MILITARY ACADEMY
IS THE PLACE WHERE HE SHOULD BE SENT.
WE'LL DRILL THE SILLINESS FROM HIS HEAD—
[SCHMITZ] (spoken)
I'm sure we'll make a dent!
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
WE'LL TEACH HIM FIGHTING
AND LEFT AND RIGHTING
UNTIL HE'S MUSCLED AND TAN!
A-HUT-TWO-THREE!
HE'S PATHETIC!
A-HUT-TWO-THREE!
[SCHMITZ] (spoken)
Unathletic!
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
A-HUT-TWO-THREE!
BUT I'M BETTING WE CAN!
THE MILITARY!
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
A MAN!
(CADETS enter.)
[CADETS]
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ,
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ,
SCHMITZ!
[SCHMITZ] (spoken)
Look at these boys. Why, you'd never know that just a few short months ago, this one hummed in the shower! This one couldn't color within the lines. And this one actually had an Opinion!
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
OUR BOYS BELIEVE
IN THE RIGHT OF EVERY WHO
TO EAT THEIR BREAD
BUTTER SIDE UP!
[CADETS] (spoken)
Butter side up!
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
ONE THING WE TRUST
ON THIS FRAGILE SPECK OF DUST:
IS EATING BREAD
BUTTER SIDE UP!
[JOJO] (spokеn)
Butter side up?
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
AND AS FOR THOSE WHO LIKE THEIR BUTTER DOWN–
[CADETS] (spoken)
Down! Down! Down!
[SCHMITZ, & CADETS]
WE'LL GO TO WAR
AND RUN THEM OUT OF TOWN!
(DANCE BREAK, in which thе CADETS perform military exercises. JOJO tries to imitate them with little success.)
[CADETS, & (SCHMITZ, spoken)]
A-HUT-TWO-THREE (We enlist 'em.)!
A-HUT-TWO-THREE (In our system.)
[SCHMITZ] (singing)
AND BOYS SOON SEE
NOTHING'S EASIER THAN...
THE MILITARY!
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
[CADETS]
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A BOY...
[SCHMITZ, & CADETS]
A MAN!!!
(SCHMITZ starts a "marching call" and the CADETS begin to march off in line. JOJO tries to keep up.)
[SCHMITZ]
I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM!
[CADETS]
I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS AND HAM!
[SCHMITZ]
I DO NOT LIKE THEM, SAM-I-AM!
[CADETS]
DO NOT LIKE THEM, SAM-I-AM!
[SCHMITZ]
SOUND OFF!
[CADETS]
EGGS AND HAM!
[SCHMITZ]
SOUND OFF!
[CADETS]
SAM-I-AM!
[SCHMITZ, & CADETS]
I DO NOT LIKE GREEN EGGS...
[SCHMITZ, & CADETS] (spoken)
And ham!
[CADETS] (singing)
SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ, SCHMITZ...
(JOJO's PARENTS are gone as the scene transitions to JOJO's military school. HE is now alone in his bunk bed. Simultaneously we see HORTON alone, guarding his clover. Night falls.)