[HAROLD HILL, spoken]
No wide-eyed, eager
Wholesome innocent Sunday school teacher for me
That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever-
Now, listen, boy-
A girl who trades on all that purity
Merely wants to trade my independence for her security

(Sung)
The only affirmative she will file
Refers to marching down the aisle
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir
For no Diana do I play faun
I can tell you that right now
I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark, I fizz for the lady who knows what time it is
I cheer, I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me

No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby
No sir, that kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance
No dewy young miss who keeps resisting
All the time she keeps insisting
No bright-eyed, wholesome innocent female, no sir
Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish you see? Plop
I flinch, I shy, when the lass with the delicate air walks by
I smile, I grin, when the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I hope, and I pray, for a Hester to win just one more "A"
The sadder-but-wiser girl's the girl for me
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me