[HAROLD HILL, spoken]
No wide-eyed, eager
Wholesome innocent Sunday school teacher for me
That kinda gal spins webs no spider ever-
Now, listen, boy-
A girl who trades on all that purity
Merely wants to trade my independence for her security

(Sung)
The only affirmative she will file
Refers to marching down the aisle
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir
For no Diana do I play faun
I can tell you that right now
I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark and I fizz for thе lady who knows what time it is
I cheer and I rave for the virtuе I'm too late to save
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me

No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby
No sir, that kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance
No dewy young miss who keeps resisting
All the while she keeps insisting
No wide-eyed, wholesome innocent female, no sir
Why, she's the fisherman, I'm the fish you see? Plop
I flinch, I shy, when the lass with the delicate air walks by
I smile, I grin, when the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I hope, and I pray, for a Hester to win just one more "A"
[HAROLD HILL & MARCELLUS]
The sadder-but-wiser girl's the girl for me
The sadder-but-wiser girl for me