Unos, dos, tres, Suzie Quatro

Every year when summer is here
I save up m' money and fly
To the land of the sun, fornication, and fun
And never let a day go by

Buenos knockas por favor
As I sniff up the breezes
There's a whiff in the air
Of Ambre Solaire
And Julio Inglese-as
All day beneath the parasols
I prat around on the beach
At night I'm pissed as ars'oles
And incapable of speech

But I'm going back to Majorca
Back to the prettiest girl that I've seen
I nearly went crackers
When she hеld my maracas
And they burst her tambourine
Shе was topless
I was legless
We boogied the moonlight away
Oh she swallowed my pina colada
Oh blimey, oh Riley, o-le
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh blimey, oh Riley, o-le
O-le, o-le, o-le, o-le
O-le, o-le me down quick
A-ay a-ay, a-ay a-ay, a-ay a-ay, a-ay a-ay
I think I'm gonna be sick

"Ooh that's better out than in"

I don't go swimmin'
I just look at the women
As I stroll down by the ocean
They don't wear vests
Upon their chests
They just wear sun-tan lotion

Buenos knockas por favor
Una Paloma Blanca
I go to Spain
Get out of my brain
And act like a wanker
I wear reflective sunglasses
To secretly stare at the tits
But I never drink the water
In case I get the shits

I'm going back to Majorca
To get up to m' scrotum in sin
There's lots of how's-yer-father
Down on the Costa Brava
And they blame it on jet lag and gin
She was topless
I was legless
We boogied the moonlight away
Oh she swallowed my pina colada
Oh blimey, oh Riley, o-le
I said she swallowed his pina colada
Oh blimey, oh Riley, o-le
But when I get back to Worksop
And the sand runs out of my socks
I'll dream of that sweet senorita
Who gave me a dose of... la dolce vita
And a vinto on the rocks