Every party's got a winner and a loser
I'm jumping out of the game
By being a referee

Sometimes all I can do
Find a spot out of the light
Feel like a Japanese

Every party's got a winner and a loser
Some girls are never alone
I'm always a little late

Each our own individual game plan
We ploy in order to stay
Out of the bottom half

Who's there with whom?
Who failed to show?
Who'll leave alone?

Since the birth of the very idea
Way back in Hellenical times
At the house of a bearded man

Every party's got a winner and a loser
One host who's gonna regret
Telling all they could feel like home
One Jew that no one invited
Three guys in love with one girl
Who takes hours to say goodbye