[SCHULTZ, spoken]
Now the only word you
Have to know in order to understand my little song is the Yiddish word:
"Meeskite." "Meeskite" means ugly, funny-looking
"Meeskite" means

[SCHULTZ]
Meeskite, Meeskite
Once upon a time there was a meeskite, meeskite
Looking in the mirror he would say, "What an awful shock
I got a face that could stop a clock."
Meeskite, meeskite
Such a pity on him, he's a meeskite, meeskite
God up in his heaven left him out on a shaky limb
He put a meeskite on him
But listen, he grew up. Even meeskites grow up
And soon in the Chader (that means Hebrew school)
He sat beside this little girl
And when he asked her name she replied
"I'm Pearl."
He ran to the Zayda (that means grandfather)
And said in that screechy voice of his
"You told me I was the homeliest!
Well, gramps, you're wrong. Pearl is!
"Meeskite, meeskite
No one ever saw a bigger meeskite, meeskite
Everywhere a flaw and maybe that is the reason why
I'm going to love her until I die
"Meeskite, meeskite
Oh, is it a pleasure she's a meeskite, meeskite
She's the one I'll treasure, for I thought there could, never be
A bigger meeskite than me."
So, they were married
And in a year she turned and smiled
"I'm afraid I am going to have ... a child."
Nine months she carried
Worrying how that child would look
And all the cousins were worried too
But what a turn fate took!
Gorgeous, gorgeous
They produced a baby that was gorgeous, gorgeous
Crowding round the cradle all the relatives aahed and oohed
"He ought to pose for a baby food
"Gorgeous, gorgeous
Would I tell a lie? He's simply gorgeous, gorgeous
Who'd have ever thought that we would see such a flawless gem
Out of two meeskites like them?"
Now, wait! The story has a moral! All my stories have morals!
Moral, moral
Yes indeed, the story has a moral, moral
Though you're not a beauty it is nevertheless quite true
There may be beautiful things in you
Meeskite, meeskite
Listen to the fable of the meeskite, meeskite
Anyone responsible for loveliness, large or small
Is not a meeskite
At all!