[MAMA, spoken]
Mr. Flynn, the reporters are here

[BILLY, spoken]
Let 'em in, butch

Okay Roxie, act like a dummy
You sit on my lap and I'll do all the talkin'

[EMCEE, spoken]
Mr. Billy Flynn sings the press conference rag
Notice how his mouth never moves, almost

[REPORTERS]
Where'd you come from?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Mississippi

[REPORTERS]
And your parents?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Very wealthy

[REPORTERS]
Where are they now?
[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Six feet under

[BILLY]
But she was granted one more start

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
The Convent of The Sacred Heart!

[REPORTERS]
When'd you get here?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
1920

[REPORTERS]
How old were you?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Don't remember

[REPORTERS]
Then what happened?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
I met Amos
And he stole my heart away
Convinced me to elope one day
[MARY SUNSHINE (spoken)]
A convent girl! A run-away marriage!
Oh it's too terrible, you poor, poor dear

[REPORTERS]
Who's Fred Casely?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
My ex-boyfriend

[REPORTERS]
Why'd you shoot him?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
I was leavin'

[REPORTERS]
Was he angry?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Like a madman
Still I said, "Fred, move along."

[BILLY]
She knew that she was doin' wrong
[REPORTERS]
Then describe it

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
He came toward me

[REPORTERS]
With a pistol?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
From my bureau

[REPORTERS]
Did you fight him?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Like a tiger

[BILLY]
He had strength and she had none

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
And yet we both reached for the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both
Oh yes we both
Oh yes, we both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun
For the gun

[BILLY AND REPORTERS]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
For the gun

[BILLY]
Understandable. Understandable
Yes, it's perfectly understandable
Comprehensible. Comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible!

[REPORTERS]
How're you feeling?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Very frightened

[REPORTERS]
Are you sorry?

[ROXIE]
Are you kidding?

[REPORTERS]
What's your statement?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
All I'd say is
Though my choo-choo jumped the track
I'd give my life to bring him back

[REPORTERS]
And?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Stay away from

[REPORTERS]
What?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Jazz and liquor

[REPORTERS]
And?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
And the men who

[REPORTERS]
What?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Play for fun

[REPORTERS]
And what?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
That's the thought that

[REPORTERS]
Yeah

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
Came upon me

[REPORTERS]
When?

[BILLY (as Roxie)]
When we both reached for the gun!

[MARY SUNSHINE]
Understandable, understandable

[BILLY AND MARY SUNSHINE]
Yes, it's perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible!

[REPORTERS]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for

[BILLY (spoken)]
Let me hear it!

[REPORTERS]
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun
For the gun

[BILLY (spoken)]
A little louder!

[REPORTERS]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun

[BILLY (spoken)]
Now you got it!

[REPORTERS]
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
For the gun

[BILLY AND REPORTERS]
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
For the gun

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

[BILLY]
Both reached for the... gun

[REPORTERS]
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Both reached for the gun!